I’ve been thinking about things again
My resolution this year is to put myself in situations that are good for me but also take me out of my comfort zone.
1. I went to a cardio kickboxing class at the Colvin tonight. It was really hard. I didn’t like it. I decided I would never go back. I was at the front of the room but that didn’t stop me from just standing there when I didn’t want to do jumping jacks. I kept thinking, “You know, I like my body just the way it is. Nothing needs to change”. This year, I’m going to take my booty to the Colvin at least twice a week. No schedule, no routine. I’ll go when I feel like it. If I make myself stick to a schedule, I freak out when I mess it up and then I stop working out.
I keep getting better at self-analyzing and diagnosing. Sometimes it is irritating. Can I not just stay the way I am and embrace my flaws? I guess not.
2. I’ve gotta get myself involved in more “vet stuff” besides going to school. It’s very difficult for me to commit to a meeting (we have to sign up so they know how much food to order). Becoming an active member or an officer isn’t appealing right now. To get this resolution going, I am attending the OkVetMedAssoc conference in OKC next weekend. Staying in touch with real-life veterinary medicine keeps me motivated. It’s why I chose to do this after all!
3. I am more anxious about being a veterinarian than how I do on an exam. I lay in bed at night and think about misdiagnosing a patient, being the only Dr. working and not knowing what to do when an emergency comes in, etc. Then I remember that I have 3 1/2 more years of school left and I feel better. Buuuuuut, you can’t tell me I won’t run into this stuff when I’m a Dr. So, I stress out again. I love veterinary medicine and I really, really, really want to be a veterinarian but this role is putting me seriously, majorly, way out of my comfort zone. I think about all the careers I could have chosen - I’m not discrediting those careers - but, for my personality and my tendencies it makes me a tad uneasy to be the one people come to for the answers, the one who is supposed to know everything about anything pertaining to medicine, the one who is in charge of a life and I have to remember SOOOOO MUCH STUFF!!!!!!! ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And then I have to hook all that stuff together and figure out how it is all connected. I suppose this is one of my hurdles.
Along with getting a tight rear-end and being social in the world of veterinary medicine, I’m trying embrace the leader in me, not hesitate so much, not question myself, but answer my questions and calm down. I’ve already made improvements in that category. Ask Adam.
